Leaving behind the clichéd backpackers hub of Khao San Road for 12 hours of relentless creaking and screeching on a battered metal train, a sleepless night clinging onto precious valuables, a rude awakening from a terrifying train guard and a breakfast of decidedly dodgy looking eggs, I was beginning to wonder what the hell I’d let myself in for after signing up for a three-day trek in the hills of the northern Thai city of Chiang Mai.

I don’t ‘do’ walking, let alone trekking. I drive everywhere, I have a bigger carbon footprint than the Beckhams and I certainly don’t own walking boots. I’m not even remotely outdoors for fear of the elements ruining my hair.

Yet here I was in 30 degrees heat, 80% humidity and with ridiculously frizzy hair. And to top it all I’d been left stranded at the train station. Having had to part with several Baht after begging a lift off a precarious tuk tuk driver to take us to our camp base, I was beginning to question my sanity.

Yet it’s amazing how your brain has the ability to morph into that of a goldfish in an instance. Within minutes of arriving, we were thrust atop a strapping elephant and riding high above the jungle, and I’d forgotten all about my dire hair (perhaps the lack of walking had something to do with it…). For any lovers of Greenpeace, you’ll probably not like the idea, but it’s undeniably spectacular being thrown straight into the vast wilderness of the Thai jungle amid a beast that could trample you to death should you fall off. Which was quite likely given that our seat sloped at a less than comforting angle.

Not so spectacular is leaving the jungle with 46 (yes, 46, I counted them) mosquito bites on your legs. Unfortunately, I ended up somewhat resembling the Elephant Man as the bites decided to swell up and itch profusely just at the point when the actual trekking bit kicked in.

When the trek guides said easy, gentle walking, they were lying. The bastards. There’s nothing easy about walking up steep muddy wet hills wearing flip-flops. So the flip-flop bit was my error… but aside from appropriate footwear, you’ll definitely need a good level of fitness to be able to walk for six hours in searing heat up and down hills for three days. The luscious tropical outbursts of lashings of rain are more than welcome, even if it does leave everything in your small backpack completely soaking.

Yet sore calves, sweaty dirty clothes and lack of basic amenities are easily swept to one side when you are rewarded with the most breathtaking scenery and stunning views over the hills of Chiang Mai. Food is provided by hospitable English speaking guides who cook up delectable green curries and noodles en route, and nights are spent curled up in candle lit wooden huts, sleeping with the sounds of the jungle humming and hissing in surround sound. Sitting and absorbing the serene beauty from your hut at night makes you feel like you are in the most desolate place on earth. And certainly makes your forget about having bad hair and a muddy arse.